Monday, May 21, 2012

Testimony Check

Missionaries are called to invite those they come in contact to Come unto Christ.  It is essential for them to have strong convictions and also to be humble - and it is also common, at least to me, to always question your own convictions and to know you are doing the right things for the right reason.  It is in that spirit that Elder Schmeltzer shares the following experience:

Wednesday night I was examining my own testimony. In my evening prayer I said "Heavenly Father, how can I teach people if I don't KNOW if the gospel is true" and I talked to him as if he was there, really talked. It may have sounded a little like complaining, but I didn't mean it that way. That night I remember feeling peace and loved and calm. The next morning in my personal studies I was reading about how Laman and Lemuel had all these amazing things happen, they saw an angel, all these miracles and still were rebellious. I realized how I maybe haven't seen an angel or many miracles but I certainly was rebellious in the sense that I didn't think I had a testimony.
I got tired all of the sudden and laid my head down on my scriptures. Probably 5 minutes passed and I heard a voice say "hey!" and then I felt someone tap me on the shoulder, I got up and looked around and nobody was there. My companion was outside washing his clothes. I was confused and I just kind of ignored it. I felt like listening to music so I went and grabbed my companion's CD and started listening to that. It was the Nashville Tribute to Joseph Smith. The first song was about the first vision and when I heard the words "oh how sweet the peace" I realized that the peace I felt the night before was the spirit and it was an assurance of the testimony that I wanted and already had. I started tearing up and immediately knelt down and thanked Heavenly Father.
I now know with all of my heart that Joseph Smith did see God and Jesus and that he translated the Book of Mormon and that it is 100% true all the way through. I feel like I have the strength to bear any trial and if  I don't have the strength at the time; then at least I know where I can find it. I am excited to see where I'll be and what i'll be in the future months of mission and also in life.
Each of us have similar times,  times which we wonder and even doubt ourselves.  And as we come closer to our Father in Heaven, as we have experiences like those mentioned above we become stronger and able to do what the sons of Mosiah did - teach with power. We are never so strong that we can afford to forget or doubt, we need to have Him touch us and help us remember: Our Father in Heaven loves us very much, very personally.  His Son, Jesus Christ lives - he endured much for us and knows our trials - he has endured them all. He also loves us deeply and personally.

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